I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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