I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
