that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
