why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I need a burrito and a hug.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
