Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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