So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Dick very happy bro
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
