Where are you?
In a non slutty way
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
one might say we're banned from that church
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
