I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
