I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
