She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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