someone threw a dead crab at me
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
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