we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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