id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
