hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
