I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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