Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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