The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
