have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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