Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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