Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
