so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Houston, we have a blender
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
