Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
