Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize