I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
