420 ftw
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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