I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
