this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
