Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We are two peas in an std pod
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
