he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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