I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
