Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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