the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
