Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
