I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
