It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Randomize