Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
