Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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