Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
