One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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