he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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