Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
