What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
