I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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