You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
