if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
