In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
