scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
