In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize