Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
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