Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
