It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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