my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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