For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
