my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
