he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
