My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
