like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
