Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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