i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
